So, I got to thinking just recently about exactly what love is. How do we find it? Where does it come from? Nobody's ever been able to answer this before, and I'm now going to see if I can come to any sort of conclusion here.
Oh yeah, early warning here, I'm in a serious mood - this is probably going to be quite boring.
So, love, at it's most base level, is a form of respect. You love somebody because some quality or another that this person has interests you and you look up to them because of it. These can range from things like being a friendly, caring person to having nice teeth. I'm not saying that you can love a person for having nice teeth, but it can be part of what you find appealing about them.
Love is when you have many of these little things, all rolled into one, so the person you fall in love with may be a friendly, caring person with nice teeth. Which brings us back to the respect thing.
Why is respect important? Because without it, people in love would just be friends. The repect we're talking about for love is a deep, meaningful, multi-layered respect, involving caring about the individual's feelings, often more than your own.
This is called 'compromise' and while many relationships consist of only one person compromising, and doing it often, there are lots out there who work together to come to an agreement on these sorts of things. So who's happier?
In a relationship where one person consistently denies themselves their opinion for the sake of their partners, you'll find that they don't mind too much, as seeing their partner happy makes them feel good, and everybody wins in the end. In relationships where both partners compromise, nobody ever actually gets what they want, both people just get a watered-down version of their wishes.
Me, I'm a compromiser. I don't care enough about anything to make a big thing about it. Which is probably something that's not making me look too good right now...
4 comments:
I dunno. I think it's a chemical thing and the rest follows along. But that's just me, and I'm not so good at the theme in question anyways.
I'm a sportsracer from the ORG, BTW.
Wow, that's a huge leap of logic to make i think.
It is true that when one person just gets their way all the time and the other one accepts it, things are probably simpler.
But i think mutual compromise and working together makes for a much deeper and more satisfying relationship.
Not that i'd know because i haven't experienced the two options so i can't compare. But i can speculate.
I am someone who likes to get my own way so i doubt i could stand it if i was the submissive partner... I'm sure i could get used to being the dominant one if it was the only option, but i'm not looking for that kind of relationship (and i hope i never do). I'm looking for a way more exciting one where we respect, challenge, help, please, admire and love one another and the relationship isn't about one person getting their way,it's about two people combining forces to create a new whole that's greater than the sum of the parts.
I'm quite into the Biblical model of marriage... mutual submission to each other, and mutual submission to God.
Better than male dominance,better than female dominance, and better than simple equality because it gives you a common goal to strive for... the fact that you are both trying to love and serve your creator above all.
i totally beg to differ on your comments about compromise. compromise is one of the most selfless ways you can demonstrate your love for someone. it is putting someone elses needs and happiness before your own, and if both parties are compromising then both parties are getting their needs met arent they? :P lol and you know that now you sent me this link you are inviting me to comment on all and sundry!!! xcandyce
Hmm, it seems nobody got the point here...
I'm ALL FOR mutual compromise, and think it's great, but many relationships have trouble due to having only one individual in the relationship giving up anything.
There are some out there who take a preference to being the one making all the compromise. It's a pleasure to them to see the other person happy.
Once again, everyone's needs are met, but is this a better or worse situation?
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