Boring 'Just-like-everyone-else' blog post

It's 2:09am on a Tuesday and I can't sleep. I have an interview in the morning which is right now the most important thing in my life, but I just can't get to sleep to be ready for it. My head is running through every possible scenario.

What if they hit me with a trick question?
Is it a practical interview?
Will I be alone, or with a group?

I'm so busy mentally preparing myself, that my brain isn't going to be prepared for tomorrow! I need this job so badly to keep my sanity. My flatmates have already started working out contingency plans to cover my share of the rent while I'm unemployed, and while I can't thank them enough for thinking about it, my own sense of pride is driving me completely. I don't want to get to the point where I'm totally reliant on my friends just for survival.

I'm scared witless.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, that job I mentioned a few lines back? Yeah, got fired. Not sure if I'm allowed to say what happened, and I'm getting so many mixed-up stories about how it all went down that I just don't give a cat's ass any more.

But in my short time there I made some good friends. People I trust wholeheartedly (Oh, yeah, that would be part of the problem...) and have real faith in. They've treated me well, and have acted admirably when asked not to discuss the whole issue, for the most part. These people supported me through this like I couldn't believe, and at the exact moment everything hit me, they were right there for me, putting up with my crap. I don't need to name names, you all know who you are.

Then there's the people I've never met. These are the people I've spoken to only through the medium which you are reading this. My 'nerd' friends as I call them. These people are a wide community, who took me under their wing(s) and helped ease me into their little space on the web. Now I find myself helping ease others in, and though the original reason for going to this place is now over and done, the community still stands. It was a joy to speak to you all, despite the fact that you were all drunk out of your minds. To know that people who've never even shaken my hand are willing to give me a simple phone call when things are going wrong for me means so much more than you could imagine.

Then there's that one friend, we all have one of these, at least when we're single, and it's the friend who means a little more than the others. In my case, this person also belongs to one of the aforementioned groups (hint: It's not one of my flatmates - they're all guys...) and doesn't actually know what I think of her. No matter how hard I try to find fault with this woman, she continues to be everything a man could dream about. Beautiful, charming, fun to be around and stimulating intellectually, I find myself completely at a loss as to what to do. I'm currently in the least impressive state possible ("Yeah, just got fired...) and until I'm back on top of my game, I won't dare take any risks. I fear by then I'll never have a chance.

I should probably just give up on the idea while I still have an awesome friend.

In summation: I'm learning a lot about friendships at the moment. How deep they can go, how fickle they can be, and how emotionally volatile they can become. The people I call my friends have broken me, caught me as I fell, nurtured me as I recover and are helping me take my first steps all over again. The people we trust are the best people for bringing you out of any situation.

But that trust isn't always justified, and that's when the worst possible pain can be dealt to a human being.

It's also 2:48, and I have a job interview in 7 hours. 2 1/2 hours of that time will be required to prep and get myself there. I'm so screwed.